It's all about Relationships…

Archive for December, 2009

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Cut out fear in any decision, or don’t take action at all…

While diving on the waves in the process of growth & awareness: it’s such a pity that some people make life-impacting choices when they are back on a lower level..like marrying the same kind of partner in a different coat… Allow yourself the real learning processes, not only by experiencing, more by reflecting..Cut out fear in any decision! when in doubt: NO action!
Often people think that fear keeps them safe, but it is actually the opposite..it destroys..What you focus on, expands and you draw it into your perspective..the Law of attraction works, if you want it or not!

’Alicia’, a Systemic Family Constellation

‘Alicia’

“ I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?” I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”.
Alicia had come ‘to set up a constellation’ in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information” I said.
“Ask someone to represent you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”.
She chose a few people from the audience, moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho genetic field’, and, voila! there the picture was revealed.

In this constellation the represented father was placed three yards away from Alicia’s representative, (in the middle of the field) and looks very happy and proudly at her.
‘Alicia’ (the rep) looks back. The mother, as set up by the client, is set up as if in the corner of a triangle, she turns her back to her husband and looks away from them. She peaks a little bit in the direction of ’Alicia’.
’Are your parents divorced?’ “No. But they don’t have a great relationship either”, client Alicia said.
”That is obvious.” A big gap between a couple physically, symbolically means that there is a big emotional distance as well. “Your mom would like to leave the family?” “Yes, that makes sense.”
“Follow your inner movements” I said to the 3 representatives. The father approaches Alicia, very closely, the mother moves a little more to the side. ”What’s going on?” I ask the ‘father’. “I want to go to her, I feel so proud of her” and he points toward ‘Alicia’. “Yes. What about your wife?” “I don’t have feelings for her. I see only my daughter.” “And what are you feeling?” I ask the ‘mother.’ She replies, “I don’t belong, I love my daughter, but she is not seeing me at all. I don’t care for my husband at all.”
The real Alicia, who’s observing, starts to cry.
The constellation continues and shows a typical case of ‘non-physical’ incest, that the daughter takes the place of the mother. Of course this pattern can also exist with mother/ sons. In a difficult, loveless marriage without a possibility to choose a divorce, parents can project their feelings and needs on their children. The strong symbiosis changes in another pattern.

In order to free Alicia she will take the place on the floor where her representative stood and will say healing sentences that work deeply into the soul, and the so called’ family-soul’, even though her father is not really present.
She will repeat after me: “I am small, you are big”, “I am your daughter, not your wife”, “Allow me my own life and marriage.” “Thank you for being my father”, I honor you for being my father.”, “You gave me life.”, “That was enough.”, “I have my own life, and I am free to be with my own husband.” “ I let go off all feelings concerning guilt.”
When these kind of sentences are spoken, a profound feeling is in the group noticeable.. It is amazing that people can temporarily take over someone’s feelings even though they are not even present. The accuracy of the interactions and emotions expressed astounds many clients especially when they are participating in their own story. After the constellation is over, those feelings dissipate from all of the representatives immediately.
After the session a different Alicia is visible, every one is able to notice a shift. Experiences learn that this shifts work on several levels, and last. Alicia told me a few months later that things really changed for her. The need for ‘escape’ was gone…

Many, many different topics or secrets could be resolved with this energetic healing work. It shows also that we have less free will than we actually believe we do.
The family-soul has its wounds and secrets that work their way through to many future generations, when not healed. The children, by being so loyal, often take over what does not belong to them. “I take it instead of you” or “I leave instead of you ”. With these types of entanglements, love cannot flow, it can disturb our lives and manifest in the form of sudden illnesses or accidents, depression, physical or mental illness, persistent relationships conflicts and dysfunction. Constellation is also used with businesses and organizations.
Einstein said it: Everything is Energy…

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The challenge of Becoming Grateful for misery…Happy Thanks Giving

November 26, 2009

The challenge of Becoming Grateful for misery…Happy Thanks Giving..

Are you wedded to your injuries? Unable to easily turn them around into a powerful gain? Today is an extra chance to connect consciously to the healing forces of gratitude, to liberate yourself and opening up to create and attract your cherished desires..Remember: it’s not about condoning the causes; others’ behavior,……… it’s about allowing yourself to be free from the effects.. to be your brightest selfNovember 26, 2009

Today I won’t judge anybody……

Today I won’t judge anybody ….

In this time of greater insecurity & upheaval there is a big opportunity for growth and expansion, for changing old belief patterns into different ones.
Many discover the loss of fake pictures of security, and dwell in the fear of it. One way to get out of this state is to embrace the unknown, to regain faith and trust in the perfection of what is possible and to step forward into the creation of the new. Envision your bright future and go for it! Get inspired, make it happen!

As life presents itself to us, it makes us humble again, which is a beautiful, powerful place to be. It also humbles us, when we ponder about our visions about what is good and bad, in order to discover that our judgments and perceptions are based on fear, and not on love. We harm others and ourselves in various ways.

Family Constellations show over and over again how much we are tied to the heritage of the past experiences of our families. Often we are not as free as we think we are.
The power of changing our thoughts in order to change our life is an amazing yet wonderful tool. It is great to make the choice for release of that what does not serve us. By telling yourself: ‘Let go!’ you take an important step. In my work with couples and families I see so much frustration and anger which is covering sadness and pain, mainly as a result of unmet needs, and violated basic needs. Needs for being seen and respected for who we really are. The one who listens to inner guidance, seems more privileged with the outcome: to survive under difficult circumstances.
Another step is to change strategies in communication. How great is it to observe each other without evaluation, judgment, analysis, comparison, blame, hurting messages in order to show how hurt or angry we are our self.

Realize that all our perceptions are really ours: they are a product of past imprinted experiences and manipulate our viewpoint of the picture. Nobody can see the whole picture, but often we think we do.
Try for one week (or longer!): ‘Today I won’t judge or criticize myself, my partner or my kids.
Worried about losing control? No, the positive energy in thinking influences immediately your environment…see what a powerful creator you’ll become.
Now is the time for investing in your relationships, for new visions on communication and active resolution for dormant issues, so many ways are unfolding and disposed for our benefit. This awareness is a gift of the Universe, so take it and enjoy!
Let’s join in our strength, support, care and joy on our path for a more kind and loving world

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