It's all about Relationships…

Archive for the ‘Past/Future’ Category

Do you worry?

 

  • Are you willing to stop worrying about what the world wants from you and willing to make it your job and your life purpose to fully live, love and feel every precious moment of your life? (Not easy, right?)
  • Did you ever realize that “worrying” is a HABIT, most often inherited from your family? Imagine, your ancestors might have experienced extreme violence, even for centuries. Then they moved to the USA to be free. Today your family lives in a relatively safe situation. But the habit of worrying can still exist. Even if there’s nothing to worry about.
  • Do you realize that by living in  FEAR  your stamina gets low, your immune system is negatively effected and your serotonin productivity is inhibited?happy woman 3

If you are one of those “worriers”, here are some tips. Challenge yourself with questions. “Is it really necessary to worry about this?” “What am I achieving by doing so?” “How would I feel if I would let go of all those thoughts that don’t serve me but stress me out?”
Rebuild TRUST. In our science based way of thinking, TRUST is a vague energy that we cannot “prove”. Only with metaphysical concepts can this be understood.
But most of us KNOW that TRUST is FELT. It is a feeling, an energy that makes us thrive. A relationship without TRUST is over. Or at least the positive part of it is. Without TRUST in our abilities we cannot thrive. And actually one of the most effective and simple phrases that soothes fear for all ages and in many situations, is “ALL IS WELL”.
These 3 words help to calm the energy around and within you. When in fear, don’t take action. Clear your thoughts, and choose deliberately other thoughts. Empower yourself!

Trusting all is well within your world,

 I have never met you…When the presence of absence is felt. A Holocaust Constellation

I have never met you…When the presence of absence is felt. A Family Constellation/Holocaust

When because of war or other disasters many family members are killed or perished, the family members who survived, even though they might have never met the others, can often feel the absence of their presence. Family Constellations show that, unexpectedly, identification can occur with one or more dead family members. We all are part of a so-called ‘Family-Soul’; a sort of collective consciousness, an intelligence that encompasses the evolution and nature of the family over several generations. A different way of saying is that clinical psychology science shows that traumas can reverberate through approximately 7 generations.

Those who belong to the Family Soul are the children, parents and their siblings, (great) grandparents, and anyone who has been excluded from the family system ( i.e. excluded, rejected members who were called ’bad’, former spouses, stillborn and aborted children).When we bring them back into the system by acknowledging and honoring them, we see that Constellations are a very effective way to restore harmony in the family. Members who didn’t talk to each other for years, suddenly call  a few days after a constellation.

Even brief constellations, can provide clarity in a wide  variety of issue, often within  a few minutes.. 

She looks at me, a bit insecure. “I don’t know if this makes sense to you” “Well, try!” I say. Sivan sighs deeply and begins to talk..”I have kind of feeling that all the people in my family who died in the Holocaust have an influence on how I am. I feel often depressed, and I don’t know why.  My mother’s sister was killed in the Holocaust along with 5 children, and another sister died in an accident  when she was a young child. My grandparents too, my three uncles and their families. I am named after my grandmother who perished too. She was very loved and appreciated by my family. I actually would like to look closer into that side of my family.”

When we start to constellate a family, we usually begin with the family of origin, the parents of the tree twiiterclient, grandparents, siblings. We choose people from the audience, who don’t have any information about the client, and are required to be “put their mind on blank”   as they will represent family members in the Constellation.  How it works? You must experience it to understand, if you are not a biologist. This work has access to the nigger picture of our subconscious. It is phenomenal to see that doors are opening to a hidden dimension of inner images and unknown information, often offering the key to resolution and relief.  Over and over again Constellations consistently reveal profound and lasting material benefiting for the participants and loved ones. Surprisingly, the healing processes and the results shown are far-reaching in the family.

“Choose representatives for you, your grandmother, the aunt with five children, and the aunt who died in an accident and your grandmother.” Sivan puts the aunt with her children very close together. They all look down, which means in a constellation that they look at dead people or a grave. When the grandmother is set up in front of her daughter, she becomes very unstable, her body convulses as if she is crying silently. “ Go to your daughter and all of your grandchildren and touch them, one by one. You too, Sivan, do the same.”

They all embrace each other in silence. ”Now take your granddaughter by the hand and bow to your relatives, both of you, in front of all of them, with one bow.”

Grandmother hesitates. “One deep bow. You take the lead .” (to grandmother). Grandmother and Sivan bow deeply and slowly. “Now look at them, and tell them: “I am one of you”. Sivan is doing that.

“Look at them… Now straighten up, look at them very clearly, and say: “I’ll carry on.” “I am so sorry for what happened to you. I carry on in honor of your name and spirit.”

Sivan closes her eyes and breathes deeply. “Sivan…please … Look them in the eyes and say: “I’ll carry on”. Sivan, deeply moved: ”I’ll continue to live.” ”I’ll carry on in memory of you.” Sivan looks down and shakes her head. ”Tell them, look at them: “I’ll carry on.” Sivan shakes her head, “No, I cannot…”

Then I ask  the aunt  to say to Sivan:  “It is enough that we are dead. You are alive…Honor your live…”

The aunt smiles spontaneously. “It is enough that we are dead.” Sivan covers her face, smiles and tears are flowing. “Now, say it again; I’ll carry on” “I’ll carry on in remembrance of you, it’s enough that you are dead. I’ll make my life ” “Look at your grandmother and say: I’ll carry on’.

Sivan is speaking those words very softly. I ask the grandmother: “Do you want to tell her something?

Grandmother whispers: “No”. To Sivan: “Now stand with your back leaning against your aunt and look forward.”

“Do you have children?” Sivan nods, smiles. “How many do you have?” “Five.” 

”Now look at them, and tell them; ”I have five children.”

She is doing that. The children of the aunt smile. “Now turn around again, I’ll put five representatives for your children, and I’ll place them opposite of you.”

“Sivan, tell your children: ”We’ll carry on with life”. Sivan, covers her eyes, laughing and crying at once… ”Now, go to your children”…

I asked the audience if they can see how the dead are changed after this, how different the energy feels in the room. “That is very important. The dead participate in the lives of the living, but only when they are seen, honored or remembered.”

“May I leave it here?” Sivan nods and smiles…  Conclusion: usually after  a session like this the client notices a shift and relief. Feelings of depression and attachment to the trauma seem to change dramatically for the better.

 

Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved

3 Tips for Loving, Happy Relationships

“Appreciation of our diversity”, I wish that would be a class in school. It would prepare us at least partially for our future relationships with ourselves and with others. Competition divides us and is a killer for friendships and relationships. The trend to look at “winners and losers” by validating the “winner” much more than the “loser” doesn’t teach our children compassion or respect. That is quite contradicting to the call or request for respect which is so often expressed. In intimate relationships and with parenting styles criticism, comparison and judgment of behavior – especially when our needs aren’t met- is rather rule then exception. One key for happy relationships is feeling totally accepted for who you are. When people are in love, they tend to see only the good in the other. That’s not only because they don’t see “reality” (whose reality is it anyway), they just focus on the beauty of the other. If the critical mind awakes, usually the energy shifts..sadly enough. Why not to stay for ever in that state of bliss?

Interpretation and perception are great misleads and problem causes in all relationships. There is not ONE reality, but we all perceive the same ONE reality differently. That’s because we bring into our scopes our past and our beliefs. We also have intuition and we sense vibrations from others. So, how do we interpret these? Well, without connecting to criticism, some people you just might stay away from. You can still respect and validate them, but protect yourself from vibes you don’t align or feel good with… In respecting the other person as he/she is, that makes us feel much more pleasant than when we are in the “I’m right you’re wrong” discussions… Your opinion isn’t better, its only different. For example the “You are lazy” accusation tells more about the needs of the speaker than the true intentions of the one that is most likely relaxing. Yes,this is pure interpretation. Clear observation is the best guidance for true understanding and eventually can lead to acceptance. That doesn’t include that violence is permitted. It never is.

From a closed heart to an open heart As traumatic hurtful experiences can play a destructive part in the rest of our life if we don’t take steps to heal and release, so can multi-generational misery or Epigenetics conduct our life as well. It’s not only learned behavior that makes us act towards our partner like how our parents treated each other. How free are our choices for behavior really? Trauma keeps its power until healed and released, like negativity is surpassed by positivity. Little wounds leave little scars, while big wounds leave big scars. When the pain is large, we can decide to close our heart for love to protect ourselves from being hurt again or the bitterness takes over and causes us to close ourselves off. All of us know people who are perceived as “cold”. Did you know that violence, rape and arranged marriages without love could stop the flow of love through the future generations? The systemic work I do traces the path back to that cause. This work offers a new perspective and understanding of the bigger picture. It simultaneously offers forgiveness and honors what needs to be brought to light and opened up for love again. If your life unfolds in ways you don’t understand, whether its about lack of success in work, divorce issues with you or your children, adoption, depression or anxiety, try this workshop: “Discover the Hidden Information in Your Energy”

2hearts entangled

carlavanwalsum.com

Epigenetics, the legacy of your ancestors in your (sub) consciousness

Were you born in the US or did you immigrate here by choice? Did you know that that can influence your success today? Did your ancestors escape a catastrophe or did they flee because of violence? Were they slaves taken by force and did they lose their family name and history forever? Most immigrants over the years came with the same purpose: to get a better life, to live in freedom and/or to leave poverty behind.  They often went through incredible difficulties before things got better. They often carried the guilt of leaving family behind who could not come. There often was no time to ponder or speak about feelings or spirituality. Life was plain survival. Immigrants_arrive_New_York Today, many women and men live the chosen lifestyle of their dreams. Vision boards hang in homes, where the projected wishes are waiting to become manifested matter. But if the scarcity thinking, which is often a generational pattern, doesn’t leave your sub-consciousness then that can really keep you stuck in your quest to reach success. Its called an invisible block.  The fear of “not having enough money” can become the fear of “losing your money”   when you finally  do have a lot in the bank. Lately I spoke with a policeman in front of a bank and a very old and cute couple with canes came stumbling to the entrance. They greeted the guard. “They come here every day” he said to me. “Really?”  “Yes, they are checking if the money is still in their account…” One of the aspects of the art of living  is letting go of fear. Fearless living is a challenge, but a work that can be done. Are you aware that the desire to control, whether it is your children, partner or your bank account, all stems from fear? Fear doesn’t keep you safe, but attracts more fear what  you, probably, not really want. If you are interested how the sub-consciousness can reveal hidden blocks, then come Sunday to our workshop, “Discover the Hidden Information from Your Energy”

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