It's all about Relationships…

Posts tagged ‘psychotherapy’

“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…” When the presence of absence is felt… A Holocaust history as shown in a Constellation perspective

“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…”  When the  presence of absence is felt…  A Holocaust history as shown in a Constellation perspective. ( N0, not about stars!)

http://www.CarlaVanWalsum.com   Boca Raton, Florida

When, because of war or other disasters, many family members are killed or perished, surviving members can often ‘feel’ their absence even though they have never met. Family Constellations show that identification can occur with one or more dead family members quite unexpectedly. We are all part of a so called ‘Family-Soul’; an intelligence which encompasses the evolution and nature of the family over the generations.

Those who belong to a particular Family Soul are the children, parents and their siblings, grandparents, great grandparents and so on, including anyone who has been excluded from this family system (i.e. rejected members who were called ’bad’, former spouses, stillborn and aborted children).When we bring them back into the system by acknowledging and honoring them, we see that Constellations are a very effective way to restore harmony in any family. Sometimes, family members who haven’t talked to each other for years suddenly call soon after a constellation.
Also, constellations can provide clarity and healing for a tremendous variety of issues in only a few minutes.

She looks at me, a bit insecurely. “I don’t know if this makes any sense to you.”
“Well, try!” I say.
Michal sighs deeply and begins to talk.” I have a strange feeling that all of the people in my family who died in the Holocaust have an influence on me today. I often feel depressed, and I don’t know why. My mother’s sister was killed in the Holocaust along with her 5 children. So are 2 brothers with their families from my father’s side. I am named after my grandmother, who perished too. The story in my family is that she was a great, wonderful person. I actually would like to look more closely into that side of my family.”

When Family Constellations begin, we start by setting up the family of origin. The client will choose people from the audience to represent their family members. They have no previous information about the client, and are requested to participate with ‘absolutely blank minds’. By doing so,   a ‘morpho-genetic-field’  emerges, a field that contains the collected data of the family legacy. The miracle is that doors are opened to a hidden dimension of inner images and often unknown, unspoken issues.  When scars of the past are not healed, that energy tend to reverberate to future generations. Over and over again, Constellations consistently reveal profound and lasting benefits for the participants and loved ones. Surprisingly enough, the healing processes take place on  soul-level, yet the results are shown in people, even when they are not present.

“Choose representatives for you, your grandmother, the aunt with five children.”

Michal puts the aunt with her 5 children very close together. They all look down. When the grandmother is set up in front of her daughter, she becomes very unstable, her body convulses as if she is crying silently. A strong emotion is felt.
“Go to your daughter and all of your grandchildren and touch them, one by one. ..Michal, please do the same and look them in the eyes.”  They all embrace each other in silence. “Now take your granddaughter by the hand and bow to your relatives, both of you, in front of all of them, with one bow.”
The grandmother hesitates.  Continue to breathe deeply!  “One deep bow. ” Michal sighs deeply, and cannot look at them. She walks away, telling she cannot look at them. I gently bring Michal back. “Please, look at them!” Michal walks back.

Grandmother and Michal bow deeply and slowly. The ro m becomes very tensed. “Now Michal, look at them and tell them ‘I am one of you’.” Michal does. “Look at them. Now straighten up, look at them very clearly, and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal is hesitating. “Say it. Look them in their eyes and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal, deeply moved, whispers: ”I’ll continue to live.”
I ask Michal to repeat after me, “I’ll carry on in memory of you. Your death was not in vain. ” Michal does n’t move, looks down and shakes her head. ”Tell them, look at them: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal shakes her head, no.
“Tell her-…It is enough that we are dead.”

“It is enough that we are dead.” Michal covers her face, cries and smiles. “Now, say it again, ‘I’ll carry on…I’ll carry on in remembrance of you, it’s enough that you are dead’.
“Look at your grandmother and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal does so. I ask the grandmother: “Do you want to tell her something?”
Grandmother whispers: “No”. To Michal: “Now stand with your back leaning against your aunt and look forward.”
“Do you have children?” Michal nods, smiles. “How many do you have?” “Five…”
”Now look at your relatives, and tell them I have five children.
Michal whispers:.. “I have also 5 children…”

The 5 children of the aunt smile and look friendly at Michal. “Now turn around again, I’ll put five representatives for your children, and place them opposite you.
“Michal, tell your children “We’ll carry on with life”. Michal covers her eyes… seems unable to speak.
”Now, go to your children”
I asked the audience if they can see how the facial expressions and energies  (the representatives of)  ”the  dead’ are changed after this, how the energy shifted. “That is very important what we see here. The dead participate in the lives of the living,  When we acknowledge them, honor them and give them a place, the dynamics  shift.  It is als known as kind of ‘survivors guilt’.  But the burden of the loss and murdering of so many family members is very tangible and manifest itself often as depressions, strange accidents, and not being able to take life fully.  “

The audience appears very moved.. a genuine touch was felt..After a Constellation the representatives automatically immediately release all that does not belong to them, what they temporary took on in order to make the invisible visible…Thats how the forces of the Morphogenetic fields, or Epigenetics, work.

The family soul has its wounds and secrets that work their way through to many future generations, when not healed. The chil­dren, by being so loyal, often take over what does not belong to them. “I take it instead of you” or “I leave instead of you ”. With these types of entanglements, love cannot flow, it can disturb our lives and manifest in the form of sudden illnesses or accidents, depression, physical or mental illness, persistent relationships conflicts and dysfunction. Constellation is also used with different phenomenons and organizations. Clinical Psychology science shows that trauma’s are stored in the limbic brain for at least 3 generations. We can conclude that to heal our pasts is imperative for a happy life.

Carla has been trained/certified with Dr Bert Hellinger in Europe, the Dutch Hellinger Institute,  Academy for Eclectic Psychotherapy and with the Boston Constellation Approach. She has facilitated numerous constellations with groups and utilizes this work also in her private practice in Florida,  phone sessions, privately  1 on 1, with adults and with children.
www.CarlaVanWalsum.com

Read my chapter in Allow Your Vision to Soar!

AUTISM?

This morning the Rabbi from Bnai Torah in Boca, in his sermon shared  about  a boy  who is at the very extreme end of the Autistic spectrum.. He just had his Bar Mitzvah at the age of 16. This boy never spoke a word and when he tried to express himself, strange sounds came out of his mouth which was  the energy of his intentions and thoughts. How captured can one be, never to be able to fully express and have your feelings heard?  The mother dedicated her life to the wellbeing of the boy. Computer technology offered a tremendous change; he learned to express himself on the soundboard. The first sentence he wrote: “I love you Mom”. The second:” I miss you Dad.” ( His father passed). These sentences moved me deeply, knowing from nearby  the lonely place where autistic people can be. How much love they need, compassion and understanding from their environment, and how hard it can be for some of them to GIVE love. My own sister, who passed a few months ago, never spoke a word either. The computer program didnt work for her. She seemingly chose to be at that place of loneliness, living in her own world, often very sad and unhappy. One of her deepest issues, she was never ever able to discuss and nobody could ever change that self talk in her head, was the doubt if she was worthy of being loved. Lovable.That must be a terrible thought to live with, and why did she have that thought so clearly? From what place did that originate? Yes, she could hear, but she closed her self totally. Classical music, therapeutically Mozart, she turned it always off. We as a family  did love her very much and expressed that often to her. That  sometimes  changed  her mood into a happy one. She  never gave any affection. Her dolls she was playing with together with me who came one and a half year after her, she was carrying like bread under her arm, head down. As a little girl it freaked me out..No physical touch has been ever appreciated by my sister…What I did learn from being with her was compassion. The guilt I felt for having my own “normal” life, was huge.  The loneliness my mother must have felt, soon after WW II in Holland, having a first born child like my sister and then to hear it was supposedly her fault, so was  told her by her doctors..  This carries a huge message. Dont judge, don’t think you know it all, be compassionate and stay humble in whatever great place you might be. Things are often not quite as they seemed to be.

The greatness of my parents who took care of  my sister to her last breath when she died from cancer, was reflected in my sister. The last months of her life, every night she hurried to step in my parents bed before they were coming, in order  to sleep between them, as a baby. The only moments in her life she clearly  showed in her way that she needed others.

Teaching Children compassion..

 If the world would suddenly be a compassionate one, how different would it be…
 
The strongest desire most parents have for their children is that they will be successful in life. The true understanding of success lies in who we are, not in what we do. Finding life’s purpose and doing what makes you really happy, automatically connects you to the essence of your being, your spirit, and your source. To integrate our spirit with an unconditionally loving, trust based, energy force in our mind, heart and belief system, allows clear choices to emerge and prosperity to abound in all life’s area’s. In a world where so much confusion and anger/ violence is present, vital answers can be found in the roll of conscious parenting. It is a blessing for a child to have parents to look up to, who respect the child for who (s)he is. Give respect, thou shall receive the same…make corrections with love, firm and clear, and the safety of boundaries is felt.
It is also a blessing to recieve compassion, as a way to learn to be compassionate. To create awareness about compassion is by being non-judgmental about others.  Wright and wrong statements are not loving, and certainly not compassionate. To learn to respect, to understand and to embrace our differences we learn to enjoy the variety of mankind. That is empowering children ( and adults!) and encouraging  them to bring the best out of themselves. Yes, that is part of a compassionate personailty!
The world as we know it, has always been violent in many ways. Today we have more awareness of that violence as a result of the easy exchange of information and broadcasting. Our tasks, intentions and focus must be on deliberately and intentionally creating a world where our children feel safe , cherished, supported and happy.  In the meantime , that is a great way to learn about compassion.
This is part of Carla Van Walsums very successful  ‘Happy Children, Happy Home Workshops ©’ and ‘The 7 Essentials for a Happy Family.’
 
Start now in February and March in:  the Red Tent, Delray Beach and Delmar Arts Academy in Ft Lauderdale. (Early birds reduction)
Carla Van Walsum  Ph.D LSHC is the owner of Transpersonal Counseling, LLC:  a Holistic Practice for Couples,  Families and Children. She works with groups and private sessions

Systemic Family Constellations:

 “Carla’s constellation workshop is moving, powerful, and healing on multi-dimensional levels simultaneously, enabling healing to occur in the past, present, and future timelines. Sunday’s event (10/26) will be amazing! I look forward to seeing you there.” Linda K.

                                                              

“ Boca Raton: Constellation Approach” Transpersonal-Counseling, LLC 

 Wouldn’t it be nice if your world could change in an instant?       A magic box that opens and all is well? It  sounds  too much to  promise,  but you are invited to tap  into the world of a deeply profound and grounded European famous method called: Systemic  Family Constellations ( Dr. Bert Hellinger) and you will  see miracles unfolding.  This   work succeeds by diminishing the unconscious impulses that produces unwanted, destructive behaviors. With astonishing specificity individuals discover the root causes to their individual  problems (or their family members who do not need to be present)  and how these  nest within the field shaped by ancestral family trauma’s that are often frozen, opening up the problems into new solutions. During a constellation unexpected patterns are released,  opening up the minds with reverence for life, creating  compassion  for others. 

 We all are born into a family as  part of the “family soul”. When wounds/scars of the past generations are not healed, the future generation unconsciously may take on that burden, out of love and loyalty . 

 Wouldn’t it be nice if you finally understand  why : 

 your child seems distant towards you? 

· you cannot overcome your addictions? 

you feel gratitude for adoption but the resentment is predominant? 

 you are unsatisfied as a stay-at-home mom although it is your choice? 

 your health or finances suffer? 

 you  or your loved ones cannot come at peace with a divorce? 

· you cannot commit really in a  relationship ?you procrastinate in being successful? 

 your child overeats or has anorexia? 

 Every session begins with only one question: What is your issue?  And the answer can be anything considered urgent and described in a few sentences. 

 In an almost   silent   process  the constellation unfolds  within an hour  towards solutions.  

 90 % Of the participants report afterwards that the issue has been  eased or totally resolved. 

 Remember, Einstein said: “Everything is Energy”. 

 Aren’t we al yearning for deep fulfilling lives and relationships, for self actualization and a happier world, where our children will be free of burdens and enjoy the beauty of all that is? 

 Facilitated by Carla Van Walsum Ph.D c LSHC 

Carla has been trained and certified with Dr Bert Hellinger in Europe, the Dutch Hellinger Institute, Academy for Eclectic  Psychotherapy and with the Boston Constellation Approach. She has facilitated numerous constellations with groups and utilizes this work also in her private practice frequently 1on 1, with adults and with children. 

                            Next Workshop is:  

                   9-26-10       10 – 1 pm : the Red Tent 

                  10-24-10      10 – 1pm: the Red Tent 

                                       

                   20 S Swinton Delray Beach, Fl 33444 

Tag Cloud