It's all about Relationships…

Posts tagged ‘wellbeing’

Music for the soul

Yasha Heifetz was a legend with his incredible passionate sound and phenomenal technique. His father, seemingly an advanced violinist played for him Tchaikovsky, and Yasha, 2 years old, would deadly-silent listen. As a trick, somewhere in the Tchaikovsky concerto, to show his sensitive musical ears, the father would pluck one sour note from the strings. At that the kid would let out a squawk of protest and reached through the bars to catch at his fathers coat…

During my first career as a classical flutist I once had a student at my home playing a Mozart flute concert to work on together. The babysitter didn’t show up, so we would see how far we could get with my 6 month old daughter in the room, who was usually very “talkative”… The baby listened while laying down, for at least 30 minutes without making any movement or sound. It’s known that Mozart ‘s music has been proven to help elevate people’s energy and mood levels. I wish that Mozart would be more often broad-casted in certain stores and places…as is often the situation now. Have you ever been for example in Best Buy? The music played there has been proven to do neurological damage. You would rather ran out the store…Corporate tells them to use those tapes, and many people working there told me they felt exhausted after a day from the noise. Why on earth do we spend so much money on science and not implement it in our daily life…

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 http://youtu.be/1xhCdyQ_8Wg

“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…” When the presence of absence is felt… A Holocaust history as shown in a Constellation perspective

“I am connected to you, but I‘ve never met you…”  When the  presence of absence is felt…  A Holocaust history as shown in a Constellation perspective. ( N0, not about stars!)

http://www.CarlaVanWalsum.com   Boca Raton, Florida

When, because of war or other disasters, many family members are killed or perished, surviving members can often ‘feel’ their absence even though they have never met. Family Constellations show that identification can occur with one or more dead family members quite unexpectedly. We are all part of a so called ‘Family-Soul’; an intelligence which encompasses the evolution and nature of the family over the generations.

Those who belong to a particular Family Soul are the children, parents and their siblings, grandparents, great grandparents and so on, including anyone who has been excluded from this family system (i.e. rejected members who were called ’bad’, former spouses, stillborn and aborted children).When we bring them back into the system by acknowledging and honoring them, we see that Constellations are a very effective way to restore harmony in any family. Sometimes, family members who haven’t talked to each other for years suddenly call soon after a constellation.
Also, constellations can provide clarity and healing for a tremendous variety of issues in only a few minutes.

She looks at me, a bit insecurely. “I don’t know if this makes any sense to you.”
“Well, try!” I say.
Michal sighs deeply and begins to talk.” I have a strange feeling that all of the people in my family who died in the Holocaust have an influence on me today. I often feel depressed, and I don’t know why. My mother’s sister was killed in the Holocaust along with her 5 children. So are 2 brothers with their families from my father’s side. I am named after my grandmother, who perished too. The story in my family is that she was a great, wonderful person. I actually would like to look more closely into that side of my family.”

When Family Constellations begin, we start by setting up the family of origin. The client will choose people from the audience to represent their family members. They have no previous information about the client, and are requested to participate with ‘absolutely blank minds’. By doing so,   a ‘morpho-genetic-field’  emerges, a field that contains the collected data of the family legacy. The miracle is that doors are opened to a hidden dimension of inner images and often unknown, unspoken issues.  When scars of the past are not healed, that energy tend to reverberate to future generations. Over and over again, Constellations consistently reveal profound and lasting benefits for the participants and loved ones. Surprisingly enough, the healing processes take place on  soul-level, yet the results are shown in people, even when they are not present.

“Choose representatives for you, your grandmother, the aunt with five children.”

Michal puts the aunt with her 5 children very close together. They all look down. When the grandmother is set up in front of her daughter, she becomes very unstable, her body convulses as if she is crying silently. A strong emotion is felt.
“Go to your daughter and all of your grandchildren and touch them, one by one. ..Michal, please do the same and look them in the eyes.”  They all embrace each other in silence. “Now take your granddaughter by the hand and bow to your relatives, both of you, in front of all of them, with one bow.”
The grandmother hesitates.  Continue to breathe deeply!  “One deep bow. ” Michal sighs deeply, and cannot look at them. She walks away, telling she cannot look at them. I gently bring Michal back. “Please, look at them!” Michal walks back.

Grandmother and Michal bow deeply and slowly. The ro m becomes very tensed. “Now Michal, look at them and tell them ‘I am one of you’.” Michal does. “Look at them. Now straighten up, look at them very clearly, and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal is hesitating. “Say it. Look them in their eyes and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal, deeply moved, whispers: ”I’ll continue to live.”
I ask Michal to repeat after me, “I’ll carry on in memory of you. Your death was not in vain. ” Michal does n’t move, looks down and shakes her head. ”Tell them, look at them: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal shakes her head, no.
“Tell her-…It is enough that we are dead.”

“It is enough that we are dead.” Michal covers her face, cries and smiles. “Now, say it again, ‘I’ll carry on…I’ll carry on in remembrance of you, it’s enough that you are dead’.
“Look at your grandmother and say: ‘I’ll carry on’.” Michal does so. I ask the grandmother: “Do you want to tell her something?”
Grandmother whispers: “No”. To Michal: “Now stand with your back leaning against your aunt and look forward.”
“Do you have children?” Michal nods, smiles. “How many do you have?” “Five…”
”Now look at your relatives, and tell them I have five children.
Michal whispers:.. “I have also 5 children…”

The 5 children of the aunt smile and look friendly at Michal. “Now turn around again, I’ll put five representatives for your children, and place them opposite you.
“Michal, tell your children “We’ll carry on with life”. Michal covers her eyes… seems unable to speak.
”Now, go to your children”
I asked the audience if they can see how the facial expressions and energies  (the representatives of)  ”the  dead’ are changed after this, how the energy shifted. “That is very important what we see here. The dead participate in the lives of the living,  When we acknowledge them, honor them and give them a place, the dynamics  shift.  It is als known as kind of ‘survivors guilt’.  But the burden of the loss and murdering of so many family members is very tangible and manifest itself often as depressions, strange accidents, and not being able to take life fully.  “

The audience appears very moved.. a genuine touch was felt..After a Constellation the representatives automatically immediately release all that does not belong to them, what they temporary took on in order to make the invisible visible…Thats how the forces of the Morphogenetic fields, or Epigenetics, work.

The family soul has its wounds and secrets that work their way through to many future generations, when not healed. The chil­dren, by being so loyal, often take over what does not belong to them. “I take it instead of you” or “I leave instead of you ”. With these types of entanglements, love cannot flow, it can disturb our lives and manifest in the form of sudden illnesses or accidents, depression, physical or mental illness, persistent relationships conflicts and dysfunction. Constellation is also used with different phenomenons and organizations. Clinical Psychology science shows that trauma’s are stored in the limbic brain for at least 3 generations. We can conclude that to heal our pasts is imperative for a happy life.

Carla has been trained/certified with Dr Bert Hellinger in Europe, the Dutch Hellinger Institute,  Academy for Eclectic Psychotherapy and with the Boston Constellation Approach. She has facilitated numerous constellations with groups and utilizes this work also in her private practice in Florida,  phone sessions, privately  1 on 1, with adults and with children.
www.CarlaVanWalsum.com

Read my chapter in Allow Your Vision to Soar!

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How to get your needs met without getting angry?

If the urge to control OTHERS would be recognized as an expression of FEARful thinking, than parents could be much more happy if they communicate their wishes differently. We can never REALLY expect anybody to do something they dont want to comply with, other then using coercion/ threat which is violent.
Being punished or rewarded for every step you take takes away the natural joy and behavior of ‘just doing it’
Requesting respectfully based on compassion and awareness of each other’s needs creates easy compliance. The model of Crystal Clear Communication is a great tool to realize that. Not to please each other to get something out of it, but to please because it is great to do something for someone else. The joy of the mitsvah/a good deed. Just a higher level of conscious living.

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